Something to Think About

A few weeks ago, I found myself in a quaint yet colorful café in Washington, DC with a good friend whom I had not seen in about 2 years. As it goes with long-time friends, you talk about the changes which have occurred in life and you share your thoughts about maintaining balance. As we continued discussing, our minds raced from one decade of our lives to the other and the various experiences that we had encountered (some wonderful and others a hard lesson) until we realized that we were guilty as possibly many others for always looking for that “quick fix” for solving problems. We never really took the quality time with ourselves, to look inward for the answers.


Being faced with a problem, we often try to find the resolution to the dilemma on the surface, when the actual cause lies within, deep within our structure. For example, I had a dream not too long ago where I saw a house which had a crack in the foundation and to solve the problem, the house was moved to another location; the interior was never considered to be a direct cause for the fault. It was a fact, in my dream, that heart of the house was the actual cause of the problem; the inside was a mess and the content too heavy for the frame. In consequence, the house remained in the same deteriorating condition with only the relocation as an attempt to mend.


Take for instance someone who felt like an outcast growing up and criticized for being too smart, too poor, too fat, or not trendy enough. Well, it would be simple for this person to move to a larger city or attend a university where they would not be known; create a new lifestyle, become a new person. A change of environment could easily improve one’s appearance, confidence, and self-esteem but what about the true image that would still be possessed within? Eventually, elements of this inner self would resurface.


There are many who have had the opportunities to reinvent themselves to forget those episodes which have been hurtful and painful; and it is often these incidents which have acted as the catalyst for the changes in their lives. If those negative past experiences are not dealt with properly, they will often cause a disturbance and imbalance with the new life, relations, etc. There are those who may realize this incongruence between the true self and the “outer man” and have the ability to make the necessary adjustments but in actuality, we all have this ability, we just need to trust ourselves enough to do it.


In closing, what is the key to bringing the balance between your “true” image and the image portrayed to the public? Well, this question could have many solutions but my suggestion is to always have some sort of accountability in your life. Do not be afraid to truly look into yourself and see if your inner self is congruent with your outer self. Ask yourself if your actions are a performance to hide something within? Some people may find this a difficult task but if you can do this, you will discover a greater resource of strength within than you could ever imagine.

A little exercise
Try telling yourself the following when you may be feeling a little out of sorts:

“I am able and I am confident!”
“I am able and I am confident!”
“I am able and I am confident!”