The field of coaching is relatively new, so here are 7 characteristics which will help identify an effective coach:
1-Personal Congruence- What the coach communicates nonverbally is consistent with his/her verbal message to client.
2-Empathy- The coach must be able to put aside personal references in order to understand the world of the client, and then communicate back to the client that his/her information has been understood.
3-Versatility- A requirement to learn new skills based on a growing knowledge of differences and an exploration of how different people are likely to perceive the coach’s unique diversity.
4-Genuineness- This refers to the sense that a person is authentic and is not “acting out” the role of their profession as a coach.
5-Respect for others- How much does the coach value the person in which he/she is working not simply because of the client’s profession or status?
6-Competency in communication- To be seen as a competent communicator, a coach needs to convey, beyond words, an attitude of caring, humanity, willingness to be in relation with the client, and clear messages.
7-Social influence- The probability that a client will implement a coach’s recommendation is often based on the manner in which the client perceives the coach as possessing expertness, attractiveness, and trustworthiness.
So if you have been thinking about hiring a coach but are unsure of how to begin your search, here are 3 tips to consider: 1) you could contact a coach from a directory 2) get a referral from someone trusted 3) the web is also a great place to search for a coach. Once you have made the initial contact, it will be easier to judge if the potential coaching relationship will be congruent with your values as a person. Remember, it is your money so make sure that you take the time to find the services which are best suited for your lifestyle.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Simple Exercise Routine
It is difficult at times to find the motivation to exercise and to keep a regular routine, so I have found a few suggested exercises which may be beneficial. See how you do.
Start your exercise period with a warm-up jog or brisk walk for around 10 to 20 minutes. Remember, though, this is a warm-up so don't push yourself too hard.
Bench Step-ups
Place your foot on a bench and with alternate legs stand tall on each step.
Do three sets of 25 step-ups.
Bench Dips
Sit on a bench and place your hands on the bench by your side. Bend your arm at the elbow and bend your legs on your heels.
Do three sets of 25 bench dips.
Toe Taps
Place one foot on bench at a time, and use alternate legs.
Do three sets of 25 toe taps.
Push-ups
Place hands shoulder width apart, and move your hips and chest together. Keep your knees on the ground.
Do three sets of 25.
Squats
Keep your feet shoulder width apart. Bend at your knees but not with your back. Do three sets of 25.
Calf Raises
Place your toes on a step, and raise your heels up and down.
Do three sets of 25.
Sit-ups
Chin to Chest
Don't flick your neck or head, and keep your knees bent.
Do three sets of 25.
Stair Climbing
Do one step, then two steps.
Skipping
Skip with two feet and then with one foot.
Voilà, You are done! And remember to drink to plenty of water everyday.
Start your exercise period with a warm-up jog or brisk walk for around 10 to 20 minutes. Remember, though, this is a warm-up so don't push yourself too hard.
Bench Step-ups
Place your foot on a bench and with alternate legs stand tall on each step.
Do three sets of 25 step-ups.
Bench Dips
Sit on a bench and place your hands on the bench by your side. Bend your arm at the elbow and bend your legs on your heels.
Do three sets of 25 bench dips.
Toe Taps
Place one foot on bench at a time, and use alternate legs.
Do three sets of 25 toe taps.
Push-ups
Place hands shoulder width apart, and move your hips and chest together. Keep your knees on the ground.
Do three sets of 25.
Squats
Keep your feet shoulder width apart. Bend at your knees but not with your back. Do three sets of 25.
Calf Raises
Place your toes on a step, and raise your heels up and down.
Do three sets of 25.
Sit-ups
Chin to Chest
Don't flick your neck or head, and keep your knees bent.
Do three sets of 25.
Stair Climbing
Do one step, then two steps.
Skipping
Skip with two feet and then with one foot.
Voilà, You are done! And remember to drink to plenty of water everyday.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Creative Writing and Coaching
Writing is an excellent way to bring forth healing, i.e. the use of metaphors, poetry, and journaling. I have always utilized writing with my clients and have found it to be an extremely enlightening experience not only for the women who attend my coaching sessions but for myself as well.
By expressing your feelings and thoughts on paper, you truly begin the process of solidifying what you are experiencing at that moment; it brings what is on the inside to life. For example, the use of personal journals with my clients is highly recommended because it allows them to actually see their progress or short-comings from session to session. It provides another way of participating in their treatment.
A recent client wanted a more creative approach to her coaching sessions and asked that I write a poem with elements and references to God since she considered herself to be a strong believer. Her assignment for the following week was to write about her thoughts from this “creative” session and to make note of any negative thoughts which may have come to mind.
The following poem was written at the request of my client who was experiencing issues related to the death of a close loved one.
Trusting God to Let Go
The greatest gift that God has given is that of love.
It comes in many forms and times in our lives, and yes…… it is beautiful.
When God has chosen you above all to enter into the life of his loved one, it is a great honor.
Your presence brings joy, peace, and happiness to a sometimes broken heart and it is because of that, your bond is unbroken.
In life, as in nature, things rest and then blossom into something so beautiful that you know that it is so because of God’s love; and it is this metamorphosis which is the guide to so much more.
Life is created and then given in love, nurtured in faith, and let go in the trust of God.
The bond will remain unbroken…………………..
By: Alicia Howard
By expressing your feelings and thoughts on paper, you truly begin the process of solidifying what you are experiencing at that moment; it brings what is on the inside to life. For example, the use of personal journals with my clients is highly recommended because it allows them to actually see their progress or short-comings from session to session. It provides another way of participating in their treatment.
A recent client wanted a more creative approach to her coaching sessions and asked that I write a poem with elements and references to God since she considered herself to be a strong believer. Her assignment for the following week was to write about her thoughts from this “creative” session and to make note of any negative thoughts which may have come to mind.
The following poem was written at the request of my client who was experiencing issues related to the death of a close loved one.
Trusting God to Let Go
The greatest gift that God has given is that of love.
It comes in many forms and times in our lives, and yes…… it is beautiful.
When God has chosen you above all to enter into the life of his loved one, it is a great honor.
Your presence brings joy, peace, and happiness to a sometimes broken heart and it is because of that, your bond is unbroken.
In life, as in nature, things rest and then blossom into something so beautiful that you know that it is so because of God’s love; and it is this metamorphosis which is the guide to so much more.
Life is created and then given in love, nurtured in faith, and let go in the trust of God.
The bond will remain unbroken…………………..
By: Alicia Howard
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Eating, a Learnt Behavior
Take a look at what you are eating. If you enjoy cooking, look at how you prepare and cook your meals. Have you ever asked yourself why you cook the way you do? If your style of cooking has been handed down from generation to generation, is it best suited for today’s lifestyles?
It is true, we learn many things from our environment at an early age and those learnt behaviors, whether good or not the best choices, do affect our lives as adults. Take for instance eating; what we eat and how we eat are acquired tastes, and in some instances, there are health issues that go along with these foods. We hear everyday, too much salt and fast foods are not good for our health, yet we continue to ignore warnings from our doctors and our bodies. Ask yourself this question, what would it take to make the change in your life?
There have been numerous stories of people who have found themselves in a life threatening situation due to their eating habits and lack of exercise. And often, it is this frightening situation which is the needed force to make the lifestyle alteration. I was working with a client sometime ago where she was literally told by her doctors that if she did not give up the fried foods and begin an exercise program that she should consider giving up her life. This was a profound statement but this was what it took for this particular person to make a change in her lifestyle.
Of course it was difficult working with this client. Why? Because she had the custom of cooking in a particular way which was traditional to her family, and these traditions were passed down from mother to daughter. Following a few weeks of coaching, she began to show signs of truly seeing and accepting the importance of altering her lifestyle for a healthier way of life.
I and my client worked together to create a plan and set goals which were realistic to her life and schedule. In addition to receiving lifestyle fitness coaching from me, she also saw a registered nutritionist who assisted her in creating a diet that she would be able to maintain. I also worked closely with her nutritionist to design a program and monitor her progress towards achieving and maintaining a healthier way of eating and living.
Making a lifestyle change can sometimes present challenges such as relearning how to prepare and cook your foods and incorporating a daily “exercise program” into your life, but these are only minor adjustments that could possibly prevent a lifetime of medical and health problems. Ask yourself this simple question, “Aren’t I worth it?”
It is true, we learn many things from our environment at an early age and those learnt behaviors, whether good or not the best choices, do affect our lives as adults. Take for instance eating; what we eat and how we eat are acquired tastes, and in some instances, there are health issues that go along with these foods. We hear everyday, too much salt and fast foods are not good for our health, yet we continue to ignore warnings from our doctors and our bodies. Ask yourself this question, what would it take to make the change in your life?
There have been numerous stories of people who have found themselves in a life threatening situation due to their eating habits and lack of exercise. And often, it is this frightening situation which is the needed force to make the lifestyle alteration. I was working with a client sometime ago where she was literally told by her doctors that if she did not give up the fried foods and begin an exercise program that she should consider giving up her life. This was a profound statement but this was what it took for this particular person to make a change in her lifestyle.
Of course it was difficult working with this client. Why? Because she had the custom of cooking in a particular way which was traditional to her family, and these traditions were passed down from mother to daughter. Following a few weeks of coaching, she began to show signs of truly seeing and accepting the importance of altering her lifestyle for a healthier way of life.
I and my client worked together to create a plan and set goals which were realistic to her life and schedule. In addition to receiving lifestyle fitness coaching from me, she also saw a registered nutritionist who assisted her in creating a diet that she would be able to maintain. I also worked closely with her nutritionist to design a program and monitor her progress towards achieving and maintaining a healthier way of eating and living.
Making a lifestyle change can sometimes present challenges such as relearning how to prepare and cook your foods and incorporating a daily “exercise program” into your life, but these are only minor adjustments that could possibly prevent a lifetime of medical and health problems. Ask yourself this simple question, “Aren’t I worth it?”
Thursday, April 12, 2007
FitnessWise: Fitness Program for Seniors
Over the Christmas holidays, I took the opportunity to volunteer my services and time as a movement instructor at the Anderson County Senior Citizen Center in Lawrenceburg, KY. I met with the center director to discuss implementing a light exercise course for the participants to offer the experience of having an activity exclusively designed for their needs. I now call this program The Déjà-Fit: FitnessWise Program for seniors. The program was specifically designed for the Anderson County Senior Citizen Center to provide physical activities for seniors and to initiate the awareness of healthier lifestyles through light fitness movements.
Two important factors which made this program a success were my assessments and the ability to gain the trust of the attendants. I did an assessment of each possible participant with the assistance of the director to find out any medical conditions or movement limitations which could cause complications for the seniors. Based on each person’s file, I decided to use sedentary exercises which permitted even the less mobile person to participate. The primary focus of the program was about inclusion, allowing each person to contribute what they were able to without fear. The age group ranged from 75 – 94 years and they were fantastic.
The music selection was also a key factor in gaining the interest of the participants. I chose music which was appropriate for their age group and preferences. For the first session, I took a chance and brought a few “jazzy tunes” such as Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald singing Cole Porter, and to my luck, they were perfect selections. The group began with 5 people and by the end of the session, I had about 15. The activities that were performed were mainly based on imitation. Each person took a turn to create a movement and the others (including myself) had to follow. This type of activity stimulated their minds to think and respond quickly. Everyone was informed that they were only required to perform what they were physically able to do. This, I believe, created a sense of trust between me and the seniors for the assurance that they would be in “safe” hands.
Following the “light exercise” portion of the program, the seniors had the opportunity to express their feelings and to reflect on their experiences during the course. This, I thought was a great way not only to learn about the participants but they also had the chance to learn more about me. In addition, I found that encouraging the seniors to set realistic goals which they could obtain during the course of the class was an excellent memory stimulant; it also added a since of value to what they were achieving in the class.
Although the classes lasted for no more than 4 weeks, I know that this will be an experience that I will always remember. I not only developed a fantastic program for a wonderful group of people, I also learned the beauty of giving and truly sharing myself with people whose only desire was to feel that they were important and appreciated. Encounters like these always reaffirm the value of my career choice and the importance of how giving a little bit of my time to others can often make a big impact.
For further information on The Déjà-Fit: FitnessWise Program please visit:
http://deja-fit.com/fitnesswise.html
Two important factors which made this program a success were my assessments and the ability to gain the trust of the attendants. I did an assessment of each possible participant with the assistance of the director to find out any medical conditions or movement limitations which could cause complications for the seniors. Based on each person’s file, I decided to use sedentary exercises which permitted even the less mobile person to participate. The primary focus of the program was about inclusion, allowing each person to contribute what they were able to without fear. The age group ranged from 75 – 94 years and they were fantastic.
The music selection was also a key factor in gaining the interest of the participants. I chose music which was appropriate for their age group and preferences. For the first session, I took a chance and brought a few “jazzy tunes” such as Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald singing Cole Porter, and to my luck, they were perfect selections. The group began with 5 people and by the end of the session, I had about 15. The activities that were performed were mainly based on imitation. Each person took a turn to create a movement and the others (including myself) had to follow. This type of activity stimulated their minds to think and respond quickly. Everyone was informed that they were only required to perform what they were physically able to do. This, I believe, created a sense of trust between me and the seniors for the assurance that they would be in “safe” hands.
Following the “light exercise” portion of the program, the seniors had the opportunity to express their feelings and to reflect on their experiences during the course. This, I thought was a great way not only to learn about the participants but they also had the chance to learn more about me. In addition, I found that encouraging the seniors to set realistic goals which they could obtain during the course of the class was an excellent memory stimulant; it also added a since of value to what they were achieving in the class.
Although the classes lasted for no more than 4 weeks, I know that this will be an experience that I will always remember. I not only developed a fantastic program for a wonderful group of people, I also learned the beauty of giving and truly sharing myself with people whose only desire was to feel that they were important and appreciated. Encounters like these always reaffirm the value of my career choice and the importance of how giving a little bit of my time to others can often make a big impact.
For further information on The Déjà-Fit: FitnessWise Program please visit:
http://deja-fit.com/fitnesswise.html
Thursday, April 5, 2007
The Voices of Readers
The media is a power vehicle which can be manipulated and shaped to reach an audience. I have written a few articles which have discussed the influence of the media on women’s (young and mature) body image and how the images are not representative of the whole. Since the first blog was published a few weeks ago, I have received numerous e-mails expressing their feelings and perspectives on this topic.
Hear what other readers have to say.
Enjoy!
________________________________________________________________________
Ms. H (Cincinnati, Ohio)
I went to your blog spot. It was excellent. I especially liked the first part of the blog that explored the various ways we can be our own worst enemy. We really have to believe in ourselves before anyone else will believe in us. I truly believe that people are able to reach great heights when they are confident and know that they are able to achieve their dreams; this confidence shines to others, and they have no choice but to believe in you as well.
I also liked your exploration of the Western standard of beauty, but I have a question for you. Have you ever felt that you (personally) did not fit the mold of Western beauty? I hear a lot of people say that the standard for beauty here includes White skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes, but I've truly never felt that I didn't "fit" into the Western standard of beauty. Of course, I'm Black with dark hair, dark eyes, and thick thighs and hips, but I never felt that I had a standard of beauty pushed on me. How do you think most women of color feel about this issue?
My reply:
Thanks for the reply and for sharing your thoughts. I believe that issues such as these vary from person to person.
As for my personal experience, well it is like this. I have a very athletic body, long lean and defined muscles with broad shoulders and narrow hips. The body that I described was the body which many young women in my high school viewed as desired, but may I also note that my school was about 98% white. After graduating from high school, I was awarded a full scholarship to attend a historically black university where the student population was about 96% Afro-American. At this university however, my body was considered “too European”; this was a terminology that only the “name callers” truly knew the significance.
So as you can see, no one is immune from prejudices based on body image. My story demonstrates that body image is cultural and that, who ever dominates, sets the standard of beauty. In short, our bodies may be shaped differently but the words still affect us in similar ways.
_______________________________________________________________________
Ms. M (Denver, Colorado)
I agree with everything you said about the media. I am Latina, but even within Latinos, I see the lighter skinned Latina women on TV much more than darker ones.
I am actually a light-skinned Latina myself, but my mom is dark (she has African blood). It is shocking how people treat me different than more African or Indigenous looking Latinos. My mom has faced so much discrimination for being dark.
Fortunately, my family taught me better and many of my relatives actually fought during the Guatemalan civil war to defend the Indigenous people of Guatemala.
I used to work with at-risk teenagers; the grand majority of them were Black or Latino. I was paired with a Black girl, so I hung out with her friends a lot. It was also so shocking that she and her friends admired the lighter-skinned, more European looking African Americans, like Beyonce Knowles. In Africa and the Middle-East, they have skin-lightning creams that are dangerous! I can go on forever about this, I better stop.
Anyway. YOU ARE SO AWESOME!! And you're a “BEAUTIFUL COLORED WOMAN”! Take care of yourself.
My reply:
Thanks for the reply and for showing readers that discrimination can occur in any form and in any place.
_______________________________________________________________________
Mdme C. (Abbeville, France)
I live in France and I have enjoyed reading your weekly articles about fitness for women. It is true that the media does present an artificial image of beauty, even in France. I am 62 years of age and grew up in a time that walking was the type of exercise in all people did regularly in my village. The type of food that we ate was more natural too; there were no conversations about additives. Times have changed. I believe that things are more superficial than before; but I do see advertisements now on television for cosmetics which show the beauty of older women in the nude. The time has arrived for all women to be represented without shame.
My reply:
Merci Beaucoup for your reply Mdme C. Your story indicates that women worldwide are affected in one way or another by false images of beauty.
________________________________________________________________________
Ms. P (Virginia Beach, VA)
Dear Alicia, I just wanted to let you know that your article about women’s body image has been very encouraging for me.
When I was 7 years old, my experience of weight management was at the local “Weight Watchers” with my mother and her issues with being over weight. Because my mother had battled her whole life with her weight, she always insisted that I watch what I eat; and even though my mother thought that she was trying to help and give me good advice to insure that my life with weight would be different than her life, what she was actually doing was planting a seed that would affect the way I saw myself. But you know what, I am winning this battle!
I was very thin growing up and I often had numerous battles with Anorexia and Bulimia to keep my slim petite figure but the obsession became so bad at the age of 17 that I had to be hospitalized for Bulimia.
Today, I am learning how to love myself for myself. I have been through so much in my life to let what others say or do determine my self-love; I am taking my life back!!!
My reply:
What a powerful testimony and I do believe that you are already winning your battle. I know that there are going to be many women who can relate to what you have just shared.
Thank you!
Hear what other readers have to say.
Enjoy!
________________________________________________________________________
Ms. H (Cincinnati, Ohio)
I went to your blog spot. It was excellent. I especially liked the first part of the blog that explored the various ways we can be our own worst enemy. We really have to believe in ourselves before anyone else will believe in us. I truly believe that people are able to reach great heights when they are confident and know that they are able to achieve their dreams; this confidence shines to others, and they have no choice but to believe in you as well.
I also liked your exploration of the Western standard of beauty, but I have a question for you. Have you ever felt that you (personally) did not fit the mold of Western beauty? I hear a lot of people say that the standard for beauty here includes White skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes, but I've truly never felt that I didn't "fit" into the Western standard of beauty. Of course, I'm Black with dark hair, dark eyes, and thick thighs and hips, but I never felt that I had a standard of beauty pushed on me. How do you think most women of color feel about this issue?
My reply:
Thanks for the reply and for sharing your thoughts. I believe that issues such as these vary from person to person.
As for my personal experience, well it is like this. I have a very athletic body, long lean and defined muscles with broad shoulders and narrow hips. The body that I described was the body which many young women in my high school viewed as desired, but may I also note that my school was about 98% white. After graduating from high school, I was awarded a full scholarship to attend a historically black university where the student population was about 96% Afro-American. At this university however, my body was considered “too European”; this was a terminology that only the “name callers” truly knew the significance.
So as you can see, no one is immune from prejudices based on body image. My story demonstrates that body image is cultural and that, who ever dominates, sets the standard of beauty. In short, our bodies may be shaped differently but the words still affect us in similar ways.
_______________________________________________________________________
Ms. M (Denver, Colorado)
I agree with everything you said about the media. I am Latina, but even within Latinos, I see the lighter skinned Latina women on TV much more than darker ones.
I am actually a light-skinned Latina myself, but my mom is dark (she has African blood). It is shocking how people treat me different than more African or Indigenous looking Latinos. My mom has faced so much discrimination for being dark.
Fortunately, my family taught me better and many of my relatives actually fought during the Guatemalan civil war to defend the Indigenous people of Guatemala.
I used to work with at-risk teenagers; the grand majority of them were Black or Latino. I was paired with a Black girl, so I hung out with her friends a lot. It was also so shocking that she and her friends admired the lighter-skinned, more European looking African Americans, like Beyonce Knowles. In Africa and the Middle-East, they have skin-lightning creams that are dangerous! I can go on forever about this, I better stop.
Anyway. YOU ARE SO AWESOME!! And you're a “BEAUTIFUL COLORED WOMAN”! Take care of yourself.
My reply:
Thanks for the reply and for showing readers that discrimination can occur in any form and in any place.
_______________________________________________________________________
Mdme C. (Abbeville, France)
I live in France and I have enjoyed reading your weekly articles about fitness for women. It is true that the media does present an artificial image of beauty, even in France. I am 62 years of age and grew up in a time that walking was the type of exercise in all people did regularly in my village. The type of food that we ate was more natural too; there were no conversations about additives. Times have changed. I believe that things are more superficial than before; but I do see advertisements now on television for cosmetics which show the beauty of older women in the nude. The time has arrived for all women to be represented without shame.
My reply:
Merci Beaucoup for your reply Mdme C. Your story indicates that women worldwide are affected in one way or another by false images of beauty.
________________________________________________________________________
Ms. P (Virginia Beach, VA)
Dear Alicia, I just wanted to let you know that your article about women’s body image has been very encouraging for me.
When I was 7 years old, my experience of weight management was at the local “Weight Watchers” with my mother and her issues with being over weight. Because my mother had battled her whole life with her weight, she always insisted that I watch what I eat; and even though my mother thought that she was trying to help and give me good advice to insure that my life with weight would be different than her life, what she was actually doing was planting a seed that would affect the way I saw myself. But you know what, I am winning this battle!
I was very thin growing up and I often had numerous battles with Anorexia and Bulimia to keep my slim petite figure but the obsession became so bad at the age of 17 that I had to be hospitalized for Bulimia.
Today, I am learning how to love myself for myself. I have been through so much in my life to let what others say or do determine my self-love; I am taking my life back!!!
My reply:
What a powerful testimony and I do believe that you are already winning your battle. I know that there are going to be many women who can relate to what you have just shared.
Thank you!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Finding the Motivation to Exercise
Finding the motivation to exercise can be difficult at times. Whether it is going to the gym or simply going for a power walk, some women often feel the lack of support to get started.
In a casual conversation with a close friend, she expressed her frustrations for not frequenting the gym as she did in the past. When asked to go a little deeper to help me have a clearer picture of what she was experiencing, she said that her first concern was the amount of weight that she gained over a period of 3 years. Since gaining weight, she said that she developed feelings that she was being judged by others based on her appearance. She said that now when she looks at photos from a few years ago, she now realizes that she was actually a great size, contrary to what she previously believed. In addition, my dear friend said that she sometimes has thoughts of not “being worthy” which is connected with society’s image of “body beautiful”. Although in the past she led an active lifestyle attending dance classes and the local fitness center with her girlfriends, she said that this also changed when her friends relocated to other cities. She says that these years have not been easy for her.
My beautiful friend has many wonderful qualities in her life which she worked very hard to achieve but in this moment, what is most important is that she is able to find the inner strength to set and follow through on practical goals, i.e. fitness and life.
Fitness Tips
1. If you are having negative thoughts, counter act them by telling yourself that you are worthy and that you are changing/evolving into someone better than who you were before. (Try telling yourself this everyday)
2. If you find that you are not quite up for the gym at this moment, start your fitness “program” by walking through your neighborhood. This will gradually build your confidence to be seen by others because it will take place in an environment that is familiar and possibly non-threatening (your neighborhood).
Also note that walking is an easy calorie burner. By walking, you will shed 210 calories in 30 minutes when walking a 15 minute mile and 420 calories when running a 10 minute mile.
3. Having accountability is very important, especially if you may not feel strong enough at times to follow through with your plan. Here are some suggestions:
1) Create a simple fitness plan which is realistic and applicable to your daily schedule.
2) Find a fitness/workout partner in your city.
3) Use your friends to monitor your fitness progress a few times a week. If your friends are not living in the same city, the phone and e-mail are excellent instruments to stay in touch!!
4) Find an on-line fitness partner. There are numerous fitness forums with women looking for the same support as you.
5) Hire a lifestyle fitness coach. You will pay for their services but you will have various options of communication such as, telephone sessions, IM (instant messaging), Skype, e-mail, and face to face coaching sessions at your disposal.
*Continue to eat meals which are healthy and balanced and drink plenty of water to keep up your physical strength.
Remember, the changes in your life begin with you but with today’s technology, you can find various means of support to help you obtain and maintain your goals.
In a casual conversation with a close friend, she expressed her frustrations for not frequenting the gym as she did in the past. When asked to go a little deeper to help me have a clearer picture of what she was experiencing, she said that her first concern was the amount of weight that she gained over a period of 3 years. Since gaining weight, she said that she developed feelings that she was being judged by others based on her appearance. She said that now when she looks at photos from a few years ago, she now realizes that she was actually a great size, contrary to what she previously believed. In addition, my dear friend said that she sometimes has thoughts of not “being worthy” which is connected with society’s image of “body beautiful”. Although in the past she led an active lifestyle attending dance classes and the local fitness center with her girlfriends, she said that this also changed when her friends relocated to other cities. She says that these years have not been easy for her.
My beautiful friend has many wonderful qualities in her life which she worked very hard to achieve but in this moment, what is most important is that she is able to find the inner strength to set and follow through on practical goals, i.e. fitness and life.
Fitness Tips
1. If you are having negative thoughts, counter act them by telling yourself that you are worthy and that you are changing/evolving into someone better than who you were before. (Try telling yourself this everyday)
2. If you find that you are not quite up for the gym at this moment, start your fitness “program” by walking through your neighborhood. This will gradually build your confidence to be seen by others because it will take place in an environment that is familiar and possibly non-threatening (your neighborhood).
Also note that walking is an easy calorie burner. By walking, you will shed 210 calories in 30 minutes when walking a 15 minute mile and 420 calories when running a 10 minute mile.
3. Having accountability is very important, especially if you may not feel strong enough at times to follow through with your plan. Here are some suggestions:
1) Create a simple fitness plan which is realistic and applicable to your daily schedule.
2) Find a fitness/workout partner in your city.
3) Use your friends to monitor your fitness progress a few times a week. If your friends are not living in the same city, the phone and e-mail are excellent instruments to stay in touch!!
4) Find an on-line fitness partner. There are numerous fitness forums with women looking for the same support as you.
5) Hire a lifestyle fitness coach. You will pay for their services but you will have various options of communication such as, telephone sessions, IM (instant messaging), Skype, e-mail, and face to face coaching sessions at your disposal.
*Continue to eat meals which are healthy and balanced and drink plenty of water to keep up your physical strength.
Remember, the changes in your life begin with you but with today’s technology, you can find various means of support to help you obtain and maintain your goals.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Learning the Basics 101
As you may have read in my blog biography, I work as a Lifestyle Fitness Coach meaning that I come across various types of people with interesting stories. The clients come from diverse backgrounds but with a similar theme, they want to improve their lives by working to achieve the maximum potential to learn new life skills. With permission to share this story with anonymity by a former client, you will see how one woman’s desire for independence and a career taught her something more important than her doctorate degree….. she learned the simple and practical things in life.
“Maria” as we will call her, was a married woman, with one child, Harvard educated but always struggling to find her purpose in life. She had the mentality which permitted her to solve the most difficult equations but when it came to the basic necessities in life, she was lost. “Maria” was a great partner and mother; so she thought until one day, unsuspectingly, her husband told her that he had enough and that he wanted to leave. Devastated, lost, and confused because her life was built around her family always being intact and never thought that this could happen to her; she had to do some very deep soul searching to better comprehend her life. Following many days of crying and accusations, the couple came to a “truthful” understanding about their expectations from each other. “Maria” had learned that though her husband had enjoyed taking care of the home in the past, he began to feel that all responsibilities had fallen upon him without consideration, appreciation, and assistance.
“Maria” came from a middle class New England family where many things, especially house chores were done by others. Her only requirement as a youth was to study. “Maria” was an intellect who often saw “domesticated” women as being “subservient" and never thought that these small details would ever be a concern in her life. “Maria” wanted me to make it very clear that these were not the values held by her hard-working family.
She said that this was one of the hardest periods in her life. First of all, she was trying to search for the fulfillment in her life, secondly, she had an agenda but without a plan for change, and finally she always believed that she satisfied her husband with her “big plans” for the future but what she actually discovered was that all he wanted and appreciated were the simple things in life; these were the things that she had taken for granted.
In our coaching sessions, we discussed where the origins of the perception of “the domesticated” woman may have evolved. “Maria” replied that her family came from a very strict Catholic background where the role of the woman was seen as a subservient to the man. This, she said was evident with the women in her family rushing home to prepare their husbands’ dinners. She said that she always wanted something more, something different than what she saw; she did not want to react out of fear or tradition when “serving” and/or “pleasing” her man; she wanted a mutual and reciprocal respect for all things in her relationship. From this, she said that the concept of the “independent modern woman” evolved. She wanted to have her own plans and do the things which she viewed as having less importance or less priority in her own time. In consequence, the shock encounter of possibly losing someone very important and dear in her life was the reality check which “Maria” believed was needed to allow her to truly appreciate her husband in a way which she thought was always too easy.
“Maria” said that she also came to the realization that in her quest for independence she was actually dependant. “Maria” never had the thought that one day her husband would leave, and in consequence, she found herself unprepared and stunned at how much her life was actually dependant on his life. She began to work on these things which she had neglected so long ago, not for the sake of “appeasing” her husband but to make herself a more efficient person, more effective in her career and most importantly……… a better role model for her child. As she saw in her own life, children learn from example.
“Maria” now says that even though she felt lost, overwhelmed, and devastated at times during this period, the experience made her a more practical and efficient person than who she was before. She also says that much strength and insight into her life was gained and those objects which were a hindrance, released. “Maria” says that she is now able to see, appreciate, and better manage the little things in life and that she would never forget the lessons learned.
The story that I have just shared is true. It is the actual life experience of an everyday woman just like you and I, who put so much effort in trying to understand, to be, and to solve the deeper meanings of life that she did not understand how important the basics were to her own life. She took an experience which may have been viewed as “discouraging” and made it work for her own purpose, to become a better person and truly gain the independence in which she always longed for.
“Maria” as we will call her, was a married woman, with one child, Harvard educated but always struggling to find her purpose in life. She had the mentality which permitted her to solve the most difficult equations but when it came to the basic necessities in life, she was lost. “Maria” was a great partner and mother; so she thought until one day, unsuspectingly, her husband told her that he had enough and that he wanted to leave. Devastated, lost, and confused because her life was built around her family always being intact and never thought that this could happen to her; she had to do some very deep soul searching to better comprehend her life. Following many days of crying and accusations, the couple came to a “truthful” understanding about their expectations from each other. “Maria” had learned that though her husband had enjoyed taking care of the home in the past, he began to feel that all responsibilities had fallen upon him without consideration, appreciation, and assistance.
“Maria” came from a middle class New England family where many things, especially house chores were done by others. Her only requirement as a youth was to study. “Maria” was an intellect who often saw “domesticated” women as being “subservient" and never thought that these small details would ever be a concern in her life. “Maria” wanted me to make it very clear that these were not the values held by her hard-working family.
She said that this was one of the hardest periods in her life. First of all, she was trying to search for the fulfillment in her life, secondly, she had an agenda but without a plan for change, and finally she always believed that she satisfied her husband with her “big plans” for the future but what she actually discovered was that all he wanted and appreciated were the simple things in life; these were the things that she had taken for granted.
In our coaching sessions, we discussed where the origins of the perception of “the domesticated” woman may have evolved. “Maria” replied that her family came from a very strict Catholic background where the role of the woman was seen as a subservient to the man. This, she said was evident with the women in her family rushing home to prepare their husbands’ dinners. She said that she always wanted something more, something different than what she saw; she did not want to react out of fear or tradition when “serving” and/or “pleasing” her man; she wanted a mutual and reciprocal respect for all things in her relationship. From this, she said that the concept of the “independent modern woman” evolved. She wanted to have her own plans and do the things which she viewed as having less importance or less priority in her own time. In consequence, the shock encounter of possibly losing someone very important and dear in her life was the reality check which “Maria” believed was needed to allow her to truly appreciate her husband in a way which she thought was always too easy.
“Maria” said that she also came to the realization that in her quest for independence she was actually dependant. “Maria” never had the thought that one day her husband would leave, and in consequence, she found herself unprepared and stunned at how much her life was actually dependant on his life. She began to work on these things which she had neglected so long ago, not for the sake of “appeasing” her husband but to make herself a more efficient person, more effective in her career and most importantly……… a better role model for her child. As she saw in her own life, children learn from example.
“Maria” now says that even though she felt lost, overwhelmed, and devastated at times during this period, the experience made her a more practical and efficient person than who she was before. She also says that much strength and insight into her life was gained and those objects which were a hindrance, released. “Maria” says that she is now able to see, appreciate, and better manage the little things in life and that she would never forget the lessons learned.
The story that I have just shared is true. It is the actual life experience of an everyday woman just like you and I, who put so much effort in trying to understand, to be, and to solve the deeper meanings of life that she did not understand how important the basics were to her own life. She took an experience which may have been viewed as “discouraging” and made it work for her own purpose, to become a better person and truly gain the independence in which she always longed for.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
It’s Not About Diet……
Every time we look up there is always a “celebrity” endorsing a new diet and wonder pill to lose weight. They share their miracle stories of how they lost 20lbs. in 2 weeks or even better, how they lost an enormous amount of weight 5 days after giving birth. Of course these are exaggerated examples of what the “non-celebrity type” woman hears everyday in regards to dieting but the simple fact is that healthy eating and regular exercise are the keys to keeping us healthy and fit.
It has been suggested by numerous readings that the best idea to have when considering dieting is to forget calories and think instead about healthy eating. Remember the four food groups? Well, it has been reformatted to 6 food groups in some articles; the reason given is that each food group provides some but not all of the essential nutrients. A healthy diet includes foods from all groups with especially 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables each day. It has also been found that a low intake of fruits and vegetables are directly associated with an increased risk of chronic diseases, particularly cancer.
Traditional USDA Food Pyramid
Source: GCBPress, 2004
In 1994, “Eating in America Today, a Dietary Pattern and Intake Report”, stated that most Americans’ diets were nowhere close to the requirements of the USDA suggestion (see chart above). The facts are that America is big and getting bigger every year! Americans tend to follow what is called the “tumbling pyramid” which includes large servings of fats/oils/sweets, which are greater than any of the servings from the vegetable, fruit, milk, and meat groups. In consequence, 64% of U.S. adults are either overweight or obese; this is 8% higher than earlier estimates. Among children and teens ages 6-19, 15% or almost nine million are overweight, this is triple the rate in 1980.
Note: Overweight and obesity are both labels for ranges of weight that are greater than what is generally considered healthy for a given height. The terms also identify ranges of weight that have been shown to increase the likelihood of certain diseases and other health problems.
The following table shows the prevalence of obesity as it relates to education levels. Obesity prevalence has increased across all education levels, and is higher for persons with less education.
Source: CDC, Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, 1991-2001.
This table shows the percentages of obese men and women in selected European Countries and Canada.
Eating less fruits and vegetables and being less active increases your chances of becoming obese. Remember, there are no good or bad foods; it’s just about being aware that you are eating a healthy and balanced diet. Eating to satisfy hunger and pleasure should enable you to eat healthfully without feeling guilty.
Beginning Exercise…………
Becoming physically active can change your body form by toning and firming your muscles and lowering your body fat over time. Studies show that with regular exercise, most women can expect to lose some weight. When beginning a new exercise program, try to make a plan that will help you to stay focused and achieve your outcomes.
Consider the following:
•Consider your fitness goals. Are you starting a fitness program to help lose weight? Or do you have another motivation, such as preparing for a 5K race? Having clear goals can help you gauge your progress.
•Think about your likes and dislikes. Choose activities you'll enjoy. If you have fun doing the exercises you've selected, you're more likely to keep doing them.
•Plan a logical progression of activity. If you're just beginning to exercise, start cautiously and progress slowly. If you have an injury or a medical condition, consult your doctor or a physical therapist for help designing a fitness program that gradually improves your range of motion, strength and endurance.
•Build activity into your daily routine. Finding time to exercise can be a challenge. To make it easier, schedule time to exercise as you would any other appointment. Plan to watch your favorite show while walking on the treadmill, or read while riding a stationary bike.
•Think variety. Varying your activities (cross-training) can keep exercise boredom at bay. Cross-training also reduces the risk of injuring or overusing one specific muscle or joint. Plan to alternate among activities that emphasize different parts of your body, such as walking, swimming and strength training.
•Allow time for recovery. Many people start exercising with frenzied zeal — working out too long or too intensely — and give up when their muscles and joints become sore or injured. Plan time between sessions for your body to rest and recover.
•Put it on paper. A written plan may encourage you to stay on track.
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2007, January 12). Fitness programs: 6 steps to guide your selection. Retrieved March 08, 2007, from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fitness/SM00025
There exist more diet solutions in our societies than ever before and the numbers continue to grow every year, in response to the demands of a weight conscious world. Based on the various research and publications however; they suggest that with a good balanced diet along with regular exercise are the healthiest ways to manage your weight. In short, there are no quick solutions to losing weight which are “free” but with charting your fitness and weight goals, managing what you eat, regular exercise and plenty of water and rest, you will not only see the results in your body but you will also feel great over all.
It has been suggested by numerous readings that the best idea to have when considering dieting is to forget calories and think instead about healthy eating. Remember the four food groups? Well, it has been reformatted to 6 food groups in some articles; the reason given is that each food group provides some but not all of the essential nutrients. A healthy diet includes foods from all groups with especially 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables each day. It has also been found that a low intake of fruits and vegetables are directly associated with an increased risk of chronic diseases, particularly cancer.
Traditional USDA Food Pyramid
Source: GCBPress, 2004
In 1994, “Eating in America Today, a Dietary Pattern and Intake Report”, stated that most Americans’ diets were nowhere close to the requirements of the USDA suggestion (see chart above). The facts are that America is big and getting bigger every year! Americans tend to follow what is called the “tumbling pyramid” which includes large servings of fats/oils/sweets, which are greater than any of the servings from the vegetable, fruit, milk, and meat groups. In consequence, 64% of U.S. adults are either overweight or obese; this is 8% higher than earlier estimates. Among children and teens ages 6-19, 15% or almost nine million are overweight, this is triple the rate in 1980.
Note: Overweight and obesity are both labels for ranges of weight that are greater than what is generally considered healthy for a given height. The terms also identify ranges of weight that have been shown to increase the likelihood of certain diseases and other health problems.
The following table shows the prevalence of obesity as it relates to education levels. Obesity prevalence has increased across all education levels, and is higher for persons with less education.
Source: CDC, Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, 1991-2001.
This table shows the percentages of obese men and women in selected European Countries and Canada.
Eating less fruits and vegetables and being less active increases your chances of becoming obese. Remember, there are no good or bad foods; it’s just about being aware that you are eating a healthy and balanced diet. Eating to satisfy hunger and pleasure should enable you to eat healthfully without feeling guilty.
Beginning Exercise…………
Becoming physically active can change your body form by toning and firming your muscles and lowering your body fat over time. Studies show that with regular exercise, most women can expect to lose some weight. When beginning a new exercise program, try to make a plan that will help you to stay focused and achieve your outcomes.
Consider the following:
•Consider your fitness goals. Are you starting a fitness program to help lose weight? Or do you have another motivation, such as preparing for a 5K race? Having clear goals can help you gauge your progress.
•Think about your likes and dislikes. Choose activities you'll enjoy. If you have fun doing the exercises you've selected, you're more likely to keep doing them.
•Plan a logical progression of activity. If you're just beginning to exercise, start cautiously and progress slowly. If you have an injury or a medical condition, consult your doctor or a physical therapist for help designing a fitness program that gradually improves your range of motion, strength and endurance.
•Build activity into your daily routine. Finding time to exercise can be a challenge. To make it easier, schedule time to exercise as you would any other appointment. Plan to watch your favorite show while walking on the treadmill, or read while riding a stationary bike.
•Think variety. Varying your activities (cross-training) can keep exercise boredom at bay. Cross-training also reduces the risk of injuring or overusing one specific muscle or joint. Plan to alternate among activities that emphasize different parts of your body, such as walking, swimming and strength training.
•Allow time for recovery. Many people start exercising with frenzied zeal — working out too long or too intensely — and give up when their muscles and joints become sore or injured. Plan time between sessions for your body to rest and recover.
•Put it on paper. A written plan may encourage you to stay on track.
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2007, January 12). Fitness programs: 6 steps to guide your selection. Retrieved March 08, 2007, from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fitness/SM00025
There exist more diet solutions in our societies than ever before and the numbers continue to grow every year, in response to the demands of a weight conscious world. Based on the various research and publications however; they suggest that with a good balanced diet along with regular exercise are the healthiest ways to manage your weight. In short, there are no quick solutions to losing weight which are “free” but with charting your fitness and weight goals, managing what you eat, regular exercise and plenty of water and rest, you will not only see the results in your body but you will also feel great over all.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Mature Women’s Body Image: What Influences?
As women in today’s society, we often find ourselves overwhelmed with images of beauty standards which are not representative for the whole but only a few. Young girls who are barely out of their teens are the chosen representatives, the spokeswomen, the ambassadors for beauty and form. Following the response from the blog, The Media and Body Image posted on February 02, the effects of media propaganda and its effects on the way that we as women view ourselves was discussed. This week’s entry will look at body image from the perspective of the larger population….. the 50 plus age group.
Studies conducted by the Melpomene Institute for Women’s Health have shown that women who were 50 years and older felt underrepresented in the media. In a study a few years ago by the institute, it was found that the suggested weight for a woman 5’4” in height and under 19 years was 113 lbs and 120-122 lbs. for women 19 and older. This is hardly realistic and healthy for older women. The problem for mature women is the lack of positive representation for their age group. Another study by the Melpomene Institute conducted in 1985 found the following: 39% of women aged 20-29 believed they looked better than most women, compared to 87% of women over the age of 50 choosing the same response. The results of these studies are quite amazing; they suggest that satisfaction with body image increases with age.
Curious to see how accurate these results were, I decided to conduct a simple survey of my senior women’s fitness class to see how they would fair in regards to age and body image. This questionnaire was created for women of 50 years and older.
The following are a few random replies from the survey:
One participant said how she felt unsatisfied because she was underdeveloped compared to other women her age when she was in her 20s-30s. She also stated that what had the greatest effect on her body image were other women, she constantly compared herself to others. When asked about her perception today, she responded that she was satisfied with her body today; “I am happy that I have my health and excellent use of both my arms and legs, this is what is most important to me now”.
Another female participant stated that she always felt good about her body in her 20s and 30s; she was always secure and confident in herself and abilities. She also stated that she never had negative feelings about her body; she always knew what she liked and never changed anything about her appearance. In regards to exercise, she replied that she never did it regularly, but she always liked to walk and run wherever she was going, if it was not too far. She also shared how when she was growing up, she would walk three miles to school each day, and three miles home after school, this was her exercise. In regards to the media, she felt that the media was changing its concept of what is beautiful in America. This has been evidenced by new advertisement campaigns to show natural beauty. Finally when asked about her perception of her body image today, she responded that, “Yes, I am guilty of eating too much and gaining more weight than I should have. My skin is still very good, beauty comes from the inside not just the physical appearance”.
In short, the various research studies have shown that in general, a woman’s perception about her body image and value increases with age. The results of my short survey were no exception; all women stated that they felt more confident about their bodies as they matured. Beauty is not just on the outside.
*I would like to thank the women who shared their stories about their body image. They have been greatly appreciated.*
(Take the survey)
Women’s Body Image Survey for 50+
1. How would you describe your feelings about your body image when you were in your 20’s and 30’s?
2. If your feelings were negative, what influenced your perception?
3. Was exercise a part of your daily routine?
4. How do you feel about the media’s representation of mature women in the media today?
5. Has your perception of beauty and body image changed since turning 50?
Studies conducted by the Melpomene Institute for Women’s Health have shown that women who were 50 years and older felt underrepresented in the media. In a study a few years ago by the institute, it was found that the suggested weight for a woman 5’4” in height and under 19 years was 113 lbs and 120-122 lbs. for women 19 and older. This is hardly realistic and healthy for older women. The problem for mature women is the lack of positive representation for their age group. Another study by the Melpomene Institute conducted in 1985 found the following: 39% of women aged 20-29 believed they looked better than most women, compared to 87% of women over the age of 50 choosing the same response. The results of these studies are quite amazing; they suggest that satisfaction with body image increases with age.
Curious to see how accurate these results were, I decided to conduct a simple survey of my senior women’s fitness class to see how they would fair in regards to age and body image. This questionnaire was created for women of 50 years and older.
The following are a few random replies from the survey:
One participant said how she felt unsatisfied because she was underdeveloped compared to other women her age when she was in her 20s-30s. She also stated that what had the greatest effect on her body image were other women, she constantly compared herself to others. When asked about her perception today, she responded that she was satisfied with her body today; “I am happy that I have my health and excellent use of both my arms and legs, this is what is most important to me now”.
Another female participant stated that she always felt good about her body in her 20s and 30s; she was always secure and confident in herself and abilities. She also stated that she never had negative feelings about her body; she always knew what she liked and never changed anything about her appearance. In regards to exercise, she replied that she never did it regularly, but she always liked to walk and run wherever she was going, if it was not too far. She also shared how when she was growing up, she would walk three miles to school each day, and three miles home after school, this was her exercise. In regards to the media, she felt that the media was changing its concept of what is beautiful in America. This has been evidenced by new advertisement campaigns to show natural beauty. Finally when asked about her perception of her body image today, she responded that, “Yes, I am guilty of eating too much and gaining more weight than I should have. My skin is still very good, beauty comes from the inside not just the physical appearance”.
In short, the various research studies have shown that in general, a woman’s perception about her body image and value increases with age. The results of my short survey were no exception; all women stated that they felt more confident about their bodies as they matured. Beauty is not just on the outside.
*I would like to thank the women who shared their stories about their body image. They have been greatly appreciated.*
(Take the survey)
Women’s Body Image Survey for 50+
1. How would you describe your feelings about your body image when you were in your 20’s and 30’s?
2. If your feelings were negative, what influenced your perception?
3. Was exercise a part of your daily routine?
4. How do you feel about the media’s representation of mature women in the media today?
5. Has your perception of beauty and body image changed since turning 50?
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